Breathe

acceptance, desire, narrative, overthinking, relaxation

OMG. This was probably the toughest session. I was all prepared, I joined the session a little early and that kinda freaked me out. He tried to calm me down and eventually it worked (sorta).

He wonders whether I am at war with my own desires. There is something here.

HUD analogy

Him: “I think you overthink lots of things.”
Me: “Yes, I am aware. That’s why I am here.”

I admitted that I lied to him about how much I drank months ago. It was weighing on me. It feels better to be honest.

It’s OK to:

  • flirt
  • be attractive
  • like when people find you attractive

I flirted a lot with this guy at the bike store for no real reason other than I liked the attention. He says it’s OK but…I’m not so sure but WHY?

Trouble Sleeping

I am engaging in the process of falling asleep rather than just…falling asleep. OK, cool, that sounds great, yeah, you got it but: HOW DO I DO ANYTHING ELSE?

Q: How can I achieve a flow state that requires less thinking?

The closest I get today is playing the piano. Playing easy children’s Christmas music on purpose.

He got a lot out of me. I was a wreck at the end of the session. I went outside and swept the deck and that was nice.

Homework:

  • [ ] What would it take to be comfortable saying to a stranger “Hi, my name is Lydia; these are my fears:”?