Embrace the Notion that Life Sucks

acceptance, apology, avoidance, existential, forgiveness, life, pleasure, self, self-worth, value, worth

BLANK is about my expression and not their reaction. Cool but what if I do not value my own expression enough?

The word “happened”

I found myself talking a bit more than I wanted about things that happened to me. I am an active participant in my own life and so this phrasing is uncomfortable. However, we have learned that I hold myself responsible for things for which I bear no responsibility. Sounds miserable, no? Imagine if someone else held you responsible for 20 years for something that was NOT YOUR FAULT.

Embrace the notion that life sucks.

Want a shortcut (of sorts) to happiness? Embrace the notion that life sucks. Easier said than done, sure. The sooner you accept that life sucks, the less time you spend putting negative energy into the world and the more time you start focusing on what little good there remains. This is rather a profound notion for me.

  • I use the word embrace here rather than accept. Sure, that acceptance is required to be able to embrace this notion. However, I think that a good end goal is embracing the fact. Accepting something suggests a bit of resistance. That will not serve us here.

I express this sentiment thusly:

We must work within the confines of the reality that life sucks.

To struggle against the confines of reality is to be lost in space.

As he put it:

The more you accept pain, the more you can accept pleasure.

He continued:

  • Do not fight the suck.
  • It is worth it.

I am on board with the first though the second item remains unclear to me.

This conversation lead to a series of recommendations for reading:

  • Love’s Executioner
  • DeCameron
  • The Wife of Bath’s Take
  • Rules for a Knight

The point?

The despair ends.

Forgiveness.

What does forgiveness involve? It is a whole lot more than saying “Sorry I did a bad thing, God. Thanks for sending your son down.”

We worked through what is involved in forgiveness, as I see it. This was an intense exercise but here’s what I caputred from my definition:

  • An apology
  • Amends, possibly
  • A calm (rational) mindset
  • Contact with the victim, depending on the nature of the grievance and the relationship between the parties

With the benefit of the above – can you start learning to forgive yourself? Can you learn to forgive yourself when you committed no sin? With the right perspective change, this becomes easy.

Homework

  • [ ] READ Teal Swan on Forgiveness. (Alternately watch the video on YouTube.)
  • [ ] WRITE down how he should and should not react to a piece of information you wish to share. This is a trust-building exercise. I trust him more than I thought was possible. Yet, baring even more of my soul requires a faith and trust that I am not sure I have in a single human being on this planet, much less someone I see once every few weeks and who I have known for less than one year.
    • I know that the most helpful perspective is that the relationship we have is structured that way precisely to facilitate this kind of conversation. I will be kind and gentle with myself on this.