Anger -- sometimes easier than pain.

anger, anxiety, body, fat, forgiveness, heartbreak, hurt, pain, self-forgiveness, sex, value, worth

Maintaining sanity while performing athletically

Previously, he helped me understand I do not have to top myself with every race. With a race coming up, I wanted to check in on this. The super helpful thing I got out of this was:

  • Broaden your win conditions.

I have set constraints such that it would be really hard for me to “win” or happy with myself after the race.

Other super helpful reflections I came to by virtue of this conversation:

  • Three races is a very small sample size: exercise caution making decisions and judgment with such a small data set.
  • My goal for next Saturday’s race is below 30 minutes.
    • If I fail, that is OK.
    • If I fail at this goal, it is OK because:
      • I will not die.
      • I am already registered to try again in March.
      • I was unwell and have not run at all between the January race and the February one.

Honest to god – what do you expect?

  • Broaden your win conditions.

Be playful. We are having fun here. You run for fun. You know all of this: rest days are important. It has to be stay fun. Do not ruin it for yourself.

Some men don’t like smart women – so I just giggle.

Care enough about yourself to not change who you are because someone else is an asshole.

Having value beyond being a sexual object

It seems that I require reassurance sometimes. (In my notes I was much clearer, I wrote: I require reassurance.) He asserts that I am allowed to have needs and I am allowed to ask for them to be met.