Care for yourself

This was a draining session. I actually took no notes.

After the session, I wrote:

_THERAPIST_NAME_ is so nice to me.

As fucked up as that is, that was my major takeaway. People being nice to me just fucks me up. Sometimes, I can’t handle it and I push them away. I cause myself so much pain in this way. When people treat me poorly, I am nigh incapable of letting them know.

No wonder I can feel like I am surrounded by jerks.

Anyway, here is what I do remember from the session:

I was in knots because I was letting how much I cared about someone else’s wellbeing get in the way of how much I cared about my own wellbeing.

So, we all know that life is unfair – right?

In today’s episode: I have to stand up for myself. I was wronged and yet I feel that standing up when one has been wronged is like being punished twice after having committed no infraction beyond existing.

Anyway, I have an incredible support system to help me through this. I am excited to read this in six months and wonder “What the heck was that all about?”.

Embracing my sexuality

I am embracing my sexuality for myself. Not for anyone else and damn sure not for A MAN.